Prologue: Theme Song intro[]
[Drumroll Sounds]
Announcer: "Ladies and gentlemen, people of all ages, it's time for Calvin and Hobbes the Series!"
[Music Playing In Background]
Who's got the grand sense of a big adventure?
Calvin and Hobbes
with a cardboard box and a time censor?
Calvin and Hobbes
a wild imagination that's a cause for trouble?
Get on over here and praise them on the double?
Calvin and Hobbes
[Spoken] "Ready, everybody?"
Calvin and Hobbes
Calvin and Hobbes
Calvin and Hobbes
Calvin and Hobbes
Calvin and Hobbes......
Scene 1: Outside the Ontario Movie Theater[]
Calvin rides his blue speed bike over to a peculiar movie poster.
Calvin: "Wow, Freezer-Man: The Motion Picture, I must tell the other young kids on the block!"
The scene cuts to the outside of Ontario Elementary School, and Susie, Candace, Albert, Lawrence, Jeffery, Lucas and Marcus are standing right outside the building.
Lucas: "Man, I wonder where Calvin is."
Susie sees Calvin coming right over to them.
Susie: "Here he comes right now!"
Calvin: [Honking Bicycle Horn] "Hey, you guys."
Candace: "What's going on, Calvin?"
Calvin: "Freezer-Man's coming!"
Lawrence: "Freezer-Man?"
Albert: "The comic book hero?"
Jeffrey: "Is this some kind of a joke?"
Calvin: "It's no joke, you guys, it's a motion picture."
Lucas: "Alright, a Freezer-Man movie!"
Calvin: "I know, it's super awesome and thrilling!"
[School Bell Ringing]
Marcus: "There goes the school bell, we don't wanna be late for class again."
Miss Wormwood's 2nd grade classroom[]
Calvin: "Stand aside, citizens, those super villains won't get in the way of Freezer-Man!"
George: "What's he speaking about?"
Marty: "He wants to take the super villains down 1 by 1."
Calvin: "I was watching Sonic X all weekend long, and I almost forgot."
Susie: "Don't worry about it, Calvin, it happens to all of us all the time."
Calvin: "Yeah right, and for once, it never happened to me."
Miss Wormwood walks in and enters her classroom.
Calvin: "Yahoo!"
Calvin: "Whoops, sorry, didn't mean to rub it in, I've never been so proud to see Miss Wormwood."
Miss Wormwood: "Good morning, students, I hope all of you had a restful weekend, now if we could just begin our lesson--oh my word, this book's covered with glitter!"
[All 4th Grade Students Laughing]
Marcus: "Remember when Freezer-Man fought the giant monster that was attacking the city streets?"
Lucas: "Asta La Vista, creepy face!"
Calvin: "I don't wanna be a terrible influence or anything, but can we please speak about something else besides Freezer-Man: The Motion Picture this time?"
Jeffrey: "Uh, alright, Calvin, sure thing."
Albert: "Anybody else?"
Meanwhile in the school cafeteria lunchroom...........
Lawrence: "Uh, my peanut butter, honey and banana sandwich is a bit soggy."
Candace: "I believe that it's gotta do with the relative humidity created by your lunch bag's thermal properties."
Calvin: "I need to watch the end of the finals where--"
Moe: [Voice Off Screen] "You joker!"
Moe: "Can't you do anything right?"
Calvin: "But I --"
Jake: "Well, maybe you didn't hear him."
Moe: "I said, you joker, can't you do anything right?"
Calvin: "Never underestimate me again!"
There's a brief pause.
Calvin: "I'm gonna go play with a kickball or something I prefer."
Marty: "Look out, they're coming this way!"
Meanwhile, back outside during recess time.....
Calvin: "Oh man, if I ever listen to another line from that movie, I'm gonna--"
Henry: "Have no fear, Freezer-Man is here!"
Calvin: "Aw man."
Lizzie: "Mr. Mayor, there's an emergency going on around down town!"
Calvin: "I am so out of it."
Marcus: "You'll never escape, criminals!"
Calvin: "I've gotta see that movie this evening."
Scene 3: The Johnson family's house[]
Melanie: "Calvin, you can't see that movie this evening."
Calvin: "What? but, Mom, Dad, it's 1 of Marvin Swanson's latest and greatest films ever in movie history."
Brian: "Marvin Swanson? all that guy does is smash around through obstacles in that Freezer-Man costume, I wouldn't waste any of my good cash to see a grown man smashing around through obstacles."
Calvin: "What if I go alone and waste any of my good cash?"
Melanie: "Calvin, that comic book hero movie is rated NYK12, no young kid over 12, permitted without a grownup and that includes you."
Brian: "Good thing too, I remember the last time we let you see 1 of his comic book hero movies, what was it called again?"
Melanie: "The Justice Friends Movie."
Calvin: "Never fear, the Justice Friends are here to protect the universe!"
Brian: "That does it, Calvin, the last thing your mother and I need is to have you driving us crazy with lines from this new comic book hero movie!"
Calvin: "But, Mom, Dad, all of the other young kids have seen Freezer-Man: The Motion Picture."
Brian: "If all of the other young kids acted like Freezer-Man, would you do that too?"
Calvin: "Well, if that's what they're gonna speak about afterwards, right?"
Brian: "Well, it doesn't matter what everybody else is speaking about, you can't go this evening."
Melanie: "Oh, Calvin, we're only doing this 'cause we love and care about you, and we don't want your fragile young mind warped by other people who do anything for a lot of action and laughter."
Calvin: [Sighs Depressingly] “I would tell that to all of my warped friends at school."
Scene 4: Back on the Ontario Elementary School playground[]
Calvin sees all of the other students with Freezer-Man: The Motion Picture merchandise.
Calvin: "Aw man, I might as well spend the rest of my school day indoors."
Calvin: "Wait just 1 minute, that's it!"
Meanwhile back in the Ontario Elementary School hallways…….
Calvin: "Stuart, that dude is my final hope."
Stuart: "Good afternoon, Calvin."
Calvin: "Good afternoon, Stuart."
Stuart: "What a rare and expected visit it is to have you around me.”
Calvin: "Well, actually, I'm trying to get away from all of those young kids out there, you see? they have all gone crazy over this Freezer-Man thing, so I was kind of hoping I could hang around down here 'til it dies down a bit, would that be pure awesome with you guys?"
Stuart: (holding out a Freezer-Man action figure) "You'll never get away with it!"
Calvin: “Oh no, Stuart, not you too!”
Calvin: “Noooooooooooooooooo!”
Calvin exits the private study room.
Calvin: "Alright, that does it, I don’t care what my mom and dad say, I will see that movie this evening."
Scene 4: Calvin's bedroom[]
Calvin dials the correct telephone #.
Female voice on telephone: "Hello, and thanks for calling Dialaville, you have selected show times for Freezer-Man: The Motion Picture, rated NYK12, the comic book hero action film everybody's speaking about, but 1st, coming this October………"
Male voice on telephone: "Panda bears, cuddly giants of the bamboo forest, but when the bamboo's gone for good, what will they eat next?”
[Panda Bears Growling Wildly]
Male voice on cell phone: "Panda-monium, it’s what’s black and white and red all over."
Calvin: "Come on, come on, hurry up, man."
The scene cuts to Melanie reading a magazine while sitting in the armchair.
Calvin goes over to the front door, but Melanie stops him.
Melanie: "And where do you think you're going?"
Calvin: "I'm going to.......Ontario Library, Mom."
Melanie: "On a Saturday afternoon?"
Calvin: "I need to read up on those panda bears, you see? they’re running outta bamboo and it might not be a good situation."
Melanie: "Oh, Calvin, studying on a Saturday afternoon? aren’t you the best son in this house?"
Calvin: "Yeah right, Mom, that's me."
Scene 5: Back outside the Ontario Movie Theater[]
Calvin: "Excuse me, [Speaks Like 12-Year-Old Boy] excuse me, [Clears Throat] excuse me."
Calvin: [Speaking Like 12-Year-Old Boy] "1 ticket, please, for a young kid way over 12."
Ticket Selling Man: "What was that? I can't hear you, speak into the speaker, please."
Calvin: "I uh, never mind."
Mr. Spittle: (off screen) "Here comes Freezer-Man."
Calvin: "Mr. Spittle."
Calvin: [Snaps Fingers]
Mr. Spittle: "1 grownup ticket to Freezer-Man: The Motion Picture, oh, that Marvin guy’s a comic genius, I tell you, no wonder he’s counting it to the starlets."
Calvin: "I’ll see you inside, Mr. Spittle."
Calvin: "I’m with him, you see? he’s my school principal from Ontario Elementary School.”
Ticket Selling Man: "Then he makes you pay?"
Calvin: "Nah, he's not that much of my most favorite school principal from Ontario Elementary School."
Ticket Selling Man: "Oh well, I guess you can't choose true family or true friendship."
[Beeping Sounds]
Calvin grabs the movie theater ticket to Freezer-Man: The Motion Picture and enters the Ontario Movie Theater.
Freezer-Man: "You better not be in the way of my true powers, or face the wrath of Freezer-Man!"
Calvin: (writing in his notebook) "You better not be in the way of my true powers, or face the wrath of Freezer-Man!."
Meanwhile back outside the Ontario Movie Theater.....
[Crowd Protesting]
Calvin: "Yeah, alright, finally, I got every single word from that movie right here in my notebook."
Calvin: "Hey, man, remember when I came in here with Mr. Spittle?"
Ticket Selling Man: "Yeah right, where is he?"
Calvin: "Uh, I don't know, probably went back home, I guess, but there's no stopping me right now, here comes (he nervously sees his Melanie and Brian waiting by) Freezer-Man?"
Brian: "Here comes Freezer-Man?!? why that's just-"
Melanie: "Calvin Henry Johnson, did you just walk outta that comic book hero movie we simply forbidden you from seeing?"
Calvin: [Nervously] "Uh, I didn't do it?"
Scene 6: Back home at the Johnson family's house[]
Brian: "We're very disappointed with you, Calvin, you disobeyed us, and even worse, you fibbed in front of your mother."
Melanie: "Why, Calvin? why did you do that?"
Calvin: "Aw, Mom, Dad, everybody else from school saw that comic book movie, being the only person who didn't, it made me feel out of it like I wasn’t, you know, pure awesome."
Melanie: "Calvin, there are far more important things in life than being pure awesome, like your father and I being able to trust you."
Brian: "And to reinforce that notion, we're grounding you for another week, with no video games or television."
Calvin: "Uh, am I still allowed to go to school?"
Melanie: "You need to go to school, Calvin."
Calvin walks around upstairs to his bedroom.
Calvin: "Tender, on Monday, Calvin Johnson is once again the pure awesome dude in history."
Scene 7: Back at Ontario Elementary School/Miss wormwood's 2nd grade classroom[]
Calvin: "You better not be in the way of my true powers, or face the wrath of Freezer-Man."
Calvin enters the classroom again......
Calvin: "Mr. Mayor, there's a great big emergency going on around down town!"
Albert: [Clears Throat]
Lucas: "Those are great lines, Calvin, but Freezer-Man: The Motion Picture is kind of last weeks news."
Calvin: "Last week?"
Susie: "Didn't you play video games or watch television last night, Calvin?"
Calvin: "Video games? television? Last night? but, Susie, I got busted, I'm not allowed to play video games or watch television."
Candace: "Don't tell me you missed the world premiere of The Simpsons 27th season."
Marcus: "The best cartoon comedy show ever made."
Calvin: "The Simpsons 27th season premiere, that's what I should stick with from now on."
Fade to a black screen.....
Cartoon Network Bumper: Calvin and Hobbes are digging like archeologists.
Commercial Break # 1
Commercial Break # 2
End of commercial breaks....